Port-A-Potty, I’m not even kidding – This Week in WWE – July 4th Week

It’s a fairly common practice that they sort of phone things in for holidays, but since NXT was probably the top of the heap this week even with it landing on July 4th, we can’t even chalk it up to that.  Someone in the creative department is definitely feeling the doldrums, that or they don’t understand irony, because the use of a port-a-potty in their only intriguing thing that they have going on is just beautiful imagery.

But let’s not harp too much, let’s softly land those quick hits from the week that’s been.

Somewhere in the midwest, the Red brand gave us exactly what we’re all clamoring for, three appearances from Roman Reigns.  Right?  Right?  That is what you wanted, yes?

  • Roman opens the show, complains about “Bob”, is interrupted by Ziggler and McIntyre who beat him down a bit before Seth Rollins makes the save.  “The former Shield-mates” demand a piece of the Show-Off and Co. from GM Angle, who is more than happy to let Roman pull double duty, as he’s already scheduled to team with Lashley again against The Revival.
  • Curtis Axel defeated Matt Hardy.  
  • Get well soon, Bray Wyatt, for you cannot die, so you might as well stay healthy.
  • Authors of Pain defeated Titus Worldwide.  Why in the fuck is this a thing?  These guys are absolute beasts.  Use them appropriately.
  • Nia Jax defeated Mickie James.  Mickie James again proved that she is the unsung hero of this entire Raw roster.
  • Ember Moon defeated Liv Morgan.  Liv Morgan sold the Eclipse like a champion.
  • Mojo Rawley destroyed No Way Jose, on a microphone.  With a microphone in his hand, Mojo is pretty damn good.  As Cageside pointed out, his attire and entrance music suck, but he’s got legitimate fire and you can’t fake that.
  • More in the ongoing saga of Constable Corbin and “Little Man” Balor.  Just have the match so this can end.
  • Yes, we’re yet again recycling this fucking garbage “counseling session” trope that’s never been functional at any point ever when they’ve tried to use it in the past.  This time, Bayley and Sasha are stuck in this garbage.
  • Braun Strowman duct tapes Kevin Owens inside a port-a-potty and flips it over, covering KO in portable bathroom matter.
  • I don’t remember how any of the Roman Reigns matches ended in terms of actual finish, but Bobby Lashley abandoned him to The Revival, leaving him to eat two Shatter Machines.  If they want to get The Revival over, letting them go ham on the polarizing Big Dog is definitely helping.

In your preshow dark match for 205 Live, Smackdown brought the following to the Party:

  • Team Hell No opened the show with nostalgia.  It’s fine.  They were interrupted by The Usos who don’t think they deserve a title shot already.  Paige gives The Usos a chance to join the party by setting a match for later in the evening where an Usos win would make the title match at Extreme Rules a Triple Threat.
  • AJ Styles defeated Aiden English.  Post match, Rusev beat down Styles and locked in the Accolade.  I’m extremely excited to see Rusev-Styles, but I hate that they make matches so early in the build to a PPV and then repeat the same shit for weeks before we finally get to what we actually want.
  • James Ellsworth just ran away from Asuka.  This was not exciting.  There was actual build to Ellsworth vs Lynch, but now it can’t even happen because if he stands up to Becky it just makes her look worse than taking a loss in every match for months already has.  They’ll square off again next week in a Lumberjack Match.
  • Becky Lynch defeated Peyton Royce.
  • Sanity interrupted a New Day Pancake Eating Contest.  I’m good with this.  These two teams could put on a clinic.
  • Jeff Hardy successfully defended in an Open Challenge against The Miz.

Alright, the first of two good hours of WWE Television.

  • TJP wants competition, so he issues an open challenge to the locker room.
  • Noam Dar accepts the open challenge, defeats TJP.
  • Akira Tozawa defeated a jobber with Lio Rush at ringside.  Rush cuts a promo on Tozawa, so that’s going to be a thing.
  • Mustafa Ali defeated Buddy Murphy in the No DQ Match.  You owe it to yourself to watch this whole thing as it’s already in my top 10 for the year, I’m not going to spoil much, but it did give us a number of gems, like this one:

This week on NX3….:

  • Dakota Kai defeated Santana Garrett.  Commentary worked hard to get across the building feud between Team Kick and Lacey Evans.
  • Shayna Baszler with a microphone….do you need much more info from me about it?
  • The Mighty attacked Tucker Knight at the Performance Center while Dozer was headed to check the Grill for their Steaks.
  • The Mighty defeated Dozer with Tucker injured.
  • Ciampa has challenged Aleister Black, will get a title shot in three weeks.  Holy shit, this is awesome.
  • Velveteen Dream defeated Chris Dijak.  There were some sick spots in this one.  Dijak took some massive hits.
  • Gargano defeated EC3, but I think we’re going to see a heel turn here from Johnny.