I Wish Roman’s Entrance Music had Words – Monday Night Raw Recap – 7/17/2017

Raw is in Nashville, Tennessee for what the internet assumes will be an exercise in the inevitable, with Roman going on to Summerslam to finally get a conclusion to the match we never really got to see an end of at Wrestlemania 31 (thank you Seth Rollins), but that’s not how I roll.  Hell, let’s take the opportunity to add lyrics to Roman’s theme song, just because I want to.  Jeremy is busy with work related things and I’m going to be in the arena tomorrow for Smackdown Live so we’re swapping shifts this week.  Now let’s get schwifty.

It’s My Yard, The Roman Empire.  Watch Out Now, I am The Big Dog.

Music City USA

We kick off with Dean Ambrose, surprisingly, with chair in hand.  I say surprisingly because anybody with a pulse who turned this on expected it to either open with Angle’s reveal or The Big Dog.

He calls out The Miz, telling him to bring the whole Miztourage because he’s ready to make some noise in Nashville.

But it isn’t Miz that answers the call, because here comes The Kingslayer, Seth Rollins.  He’s seemingly just confused about where Ambrose stands, since he was asked to stay out of Dean’s business but then Ambrose got back into his at the end of Raw last week.

Rollins fully intends to take the fight to Miz, and he just wants to know if Ambrose is going to be in the way or by his side.  Ambrose calls into question his past, as a man who turned his back on his Shield-mates, to which Seth Rollins apologizes, for the first time thus far.  He stands willing to take a chair shot if it’ll make Ambrose feel better, and Ambrose considers it, but that wouldn’t be part of the inevitable.  Miz interrupts as Ambrose tosses the chair to the floor.

Can someone explain to me why Bo Dallas looks like Axl Rose took over as the frontman for Lynyrd Skynyrd?

The Miztourage heads to the ring, where they surround the ring and each pick up a chair.  And in an insanely rare moment, the entire crowd was chanting “Roman”.  He didn’t come, and Dallas and Axel beat the hell out of Rollins in the ring as Miz took out Ambrose on the outside.  Miz would hit a (terrible looking, like real bad) Skull Crushing Finale onto a chair.  If there were ever a time to have Roman lose to Samoa Joe, they just gave it meaning.

Romulus, you are my Remus.

From Point A to Point B:

  • Bayley vs Alexa Bliss:  Limited action before Nia Jax comes to the ring to stand in Alexa’s corner.  Bayley with some intensity that you don’t usually see from her, which is good.  It’s weird that I read a rumor that they were looking to keep her off TV for a bit two weeks ago and she’s had a match on both Raw episodes since, so don’t listen to rumors kids.  If you wondered when Nia’s involvement would bring out Sasha, I won’t make you wait.  Nia creates a distraction and gets Bayley attacked, so Sasha comes out and takes down Nia, leading to Bayley-to-Belly and the pinfall for the win.
  • A reminder that the Espys took place.  John Cena gave out the Jimmy V award, and Stephanie McMahon was honored with a Humanitarian Award.  She definitely deserves that.
  • Corey Graves abandoned his post to go in the back and get Angle back on board with revealing his own secret to the world before Social Media does.

And just like Rome, your world will burn down.

  • A reminder of the back and forth between Neville and Akira Tozawa goes to the locker room where Titus Worldwide is hyping each other up.  Good to see they didn’t forget Apollo Crews exists.  Ariya Daivari basically repeats everything he said on 205 Live, and they’ll have a match later in the evening.
  • Cruiserweight Division – The Brian Kendrick and Drew Gulak vs Mustafa Ali and Gentleman Jack Gallagher:  Don’t make Gulak and Ali wrestle tonight.  They need all their energies to put on a clinic tomorrow night in the 2-out-of-3 falls match.  I don’t like listening to Michael Cole recap 205 Live action either.  Why?  Corey Graves is actually part of 205 Live.  Let him hype the broadcast.  Wait, the match is over?  Gallagher hits a headbutt on Kendrick, tagging in Ali to land an inverted 450 Splash as Ali and Gallagher pick up the win.
  • Enzo is out spitting more fire, which he’s prone to do before getting the crap kicked out of him.  This was all to get to a recap of last week when Big Show put a stomping on Big Cass.  Big Cass comes out to rain on his parade, but not until he first reminds Corey Graves that this is all his fault.  As he goes to the ring to “shut Enzo’s mouth” Enzo flees into the front row and tells Cass he’s there to see a fight too, drawing The Big Show from the back.  There is no referee, this is not a sanctioned match.  Big Show carried the first bit here, putting Cass into the barricade a number of times, but once it moved into the ring, Cass too over and left the Big Show busted open and beaten.  (Preshow Match for Summerslam, undoubtedly).
  • Did you know the Roman Reigns beat The Undertaker at Wrestlemania?  By his logic, wouldn’t Brock Lesnar be the real owner of The Yard?

Oh no, please don’t, not real logic.

  • Elias Samson vs Finn Balor:  These two really don’t have anything else to do, so I’m kind of ok with this.  It’s going to help Elias, who is pretty damn good on his own, and it’ll at least keep Balor on Raw each week.  In these sorts of situations, it doesn’t really hurt Samson at all to take losses, especially if they let him pick up at least one or two wins.  The match went both ways until Balor took over, but Elias would shatter the guitar across Balor’s face.  Finn Balor via DQ.
  • With Balor being tended to by medical staff, a Bray Wyatt promo begins.  This would jump start Balor’s run.  The God vs The Demon?  Take my damn money.
  • A great Samoa Joe promo video.

Don’t you remember when I beat Taker?

  • Akira Tozawa vs Ariya Daivari:  Maybe they’ll actually get to have this match this week without Neville getting in the way.  I’m pretty big on Daivari, not like I am on Ali, but he’s pretty damn good.  Daivari puts on a great show here, being incredibly aggressive and attempting to take out Tozawa’s left arm.  You’ve got to be kidding me.  This match ended because Titus threw in the proverbial towel for Tozawa.  What the hell?  That was ridiculous.  Ariya Daivari wins via forfeit.  Tozawa was pissed.  Perhaps they read my last few 205 Live recaps begging that we get the hell away from this whole Titus Worldwide thing?

Angle’s Got a Secret

So Kurt can’t keep anything from the DubbDubbaE Universe.  Jason Jordan is supposedly his son.  I was damn close, I actually predicted the same storyline with Chad Gable.  I assumed that’s why he was getting singles matches to kind of push him up some before this reveal.  Somebody want to tell me what Kurt Angle traded to get Jordan to Raw?

  • The Hardy Boyz vs The Revival: For those in the Nashville area who didn’t get the memo, Jeff Hardy is doing a record release party at a record store fairly close to the arena.  Run by, give it a listen.  As The Revival climb up on the apron, Hardyz waste no time in going on the offensive, and while a deal wasn’t finalized, Matt Hardy has definitely gone hard with “Delete” and Michael Cole didn’t ignore the chants of Brother Nero but swerved it back to a chant supporting The Hardyz.  This is what quality tag team wrestling is all about.  Give this match a view.  The ending was a little lackluster, but it was still a damn good showing.  The Revival win questionably via pinfall.

Absolutely no jokes here.  The Special Olympics is an amazing thing and means so much to so many.  I applaud the efforts of WWE in support and promotion of this event.

Numero Uno Contenders Matchup – Samoa Joe vs Roman Reigns

Good guy, bad guy, I am THE GUY!

As could be expected, this was a very physical match with numerous commercial breaks.  I hate the commercial breaks mid match.  It takes me out of it.  It was a strangely slower match than I expected from these two going into the second commercial, but the pace picked up a little coming back from it.  See the Clothesline from Joe catching Roman mid-drive by.  It was awesome.

If there is anything that I’ve learned from the WWE this year, it’s that you get a title shot for attempted murder or for criminal arson and desecrating grave sites.  Just for any of you who were curious how to get yourself one of those title attempts.

BRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!    He’ll never be finished with you.  Strowman was in a pretty dominant position over both competitors until Joe got the Cochina Clutch locked in, holding him down long enough for a Superman Punch.  He tried again, but wouldn’t find the same success.  Strowman laid waste to close the show.  Following a running powerslam, he considered leaving the ring, but you know the drill…..Even security wouldn’t get in to help Joe and Roman.  A second running powerslam and he marched back up the ramp.  Looks like we are headed towards a fatal four way at Summerslam, only there’s not really any motivations for Lesnar.

My name is Roman, and I am The Big Dog.

I don’t sleep much, in case it isn’t abundantly clear by now.  Heading to Birmingham tomorrow, so follow The Dark Match on Facebook and Twitter and I’ll let you know what we get in, well, The Dark Match and what they film for Main Event.  I may even go big and try to 205 Live….Live from my seat.

Go watch the Kurt Angle interview, see if you catch them in the work or if there is any chance this thing is real.

Things Kurt Angle scheduled for Raw next week:

  • Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins will take on The Miz, Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel in a 3-on-2 Handicapped Match.
  • Sasha Banks and Bayley will face off to determine who will be the Number One Contender at Summerslam.
  • Finn Balor vs Elias Samson in a No DQ Match (where Wyatt interference is acceptable).