One Gangsta Tear – A Raw Recap for July 3, 2017

Tonight’s Raw comes to us from Phoenix, Arizona.  Please explain to me why people chose to live in the desert?

7-Foot Tall Catch Phrase

Enzo’s promo is worth a watch.

It’s one of the best promos of the year.  The internet seems to think that it’s all for nothing as he’ll get squashed on Sunday.  I’m not so sure.  I think they’ll be a reason that they do the match again at Summerslam.  The match is too big for it not to happen in Brooklyn.  Perhaps Cass attacks Enzo on the way to the ring and they never even have a match?  I don’t think it kills Enzo’s momentum if he does get attacked.

Charlie interviews a plain-shirt Cass backstage.  He thinks that Enzo said a lot of words without really saying anything.  Before he can finish that thought, Enzo flies through the air and knocks Cass to the ground.

Good wrestler or not, Enzo is his character.  He’s not playing a character on TV.  He is a character that’s one a wrestling show.

A New Challenger

Can we talk about Kurt Angle’s V-neck game?  It’s strong.

Presumably, Kurt is spending 40% of every show trying to cover up whatever bad footage or photo of him that might be out there when Braun approaches.  He wants to know what the plan is because Roman’s body went limp in his arms last week.  There’s no way he’ll be there tonight, much less on Sunday.  Kurt, and the entire audience that’s ever watched a wrestling show before, is pretty sure that’s not true.  But, Kurt will get Braun a new challenge by the end of the night.

Later in the show, Titus is trying to convince Apollo Crews to take the spot.  Crews is hesistant, since he’s a new father, but Titus easily convinces him with the chant “Crews Can’t Lose”.  This is going to be a disaster.

And sure enough, despite some good early offense from Crews, Braun quickly turns it around after reversing a standing moonsault and killing Apollo Crews on live television:

Titus tried to stop the pummeling to his client only to end up on the receiving end of a running powerslam himself.

Braun, looking to prove that he’s ready for Sunday, loaded Apollo in the back of the waiting ambulance but something is not right.  Have you watched pro wrestling before?  What do you think happened next?

Yes, that’s right.  Roman Reigns ambushed Braun and speared him off the stage to end the broadcast.

Ruthless Joe

This is also worth a watch.  Normally I don’t like these segments (or anything involving Brock Lesnar) but Joe brings the fire tonight.  It seems like he didn’t get the memo that the Ruthless Aggression era ended.

I’ve Got Kids to Feed

Miz TV is back to address the Ball family controversy.  But Miz isn’t mad about the controversy where the 15-year old dropped the N-word twice.  He’s mad at Dean Ambrose for wasting his talent.  He’s mad at Dean for making jokes.  He’s mad at Dean for wasting the buzz he had on him for being the breakout star of the Shield.  If Dean has the Intercontinental Championship, he’ll only waste the value that Miz has brought to it.  This, of course, draws out Dean who thinks it would be funny, since Miz says he likes to joke so much, that they have his IC rematch tonight.

But there’s a wrinkle here, Heath shows up asking for a IC Championship.  He thinks he deserves it…and you know what?  He’s right.  Miz has plans for July 4th which doesn’t include defending his title the night before.  Kurt is here to rain on Miz’ parade.  He’ll defend both tonight against Slater and the winner will defend against Dean on Sunday.

And the match is happening right now!  They didn’t even give Miz a chance to to change.  He’s wrestling in a white button up and slacks.  It wasn’t long until he splits his pants.

What a damn good match.  I know I’ve seen Heath nail the Avalanche PowerSlam before but the one he hit tonight was a thing of beauty.  It ultimately went south when the “Miztourage” attempted to interfere and drew out Rhyno.  The distraction was enough to allow Miz to get the Skull Crushing Finale and the successful title defense.

It was an outstanding segment.

Everything Else

  • Sasha Banks and Bayley Def. Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax with a Banks Statement to Bliss.  So by that logic, Alexa retains at the PPV because Banks submitted Alexa on the Raw before it.
  • The whole Cedric Alexander and Noam Dar/Alicia Fox thing is still going on.  Alexander ends it with a Lumbar Check.  I’m sure this goes on for 4 or 5 more months.
  • Goldust is here for the world premiere of his masterpiece form last week.  Epic filmmaking at its finest.  R-Truth, eating popcorn behind Golddust and ambushes him at the end of it.  Do we see this match in an already loaded Great Balls of Fire?
  • Seth Rollins squashes Curt Hawkins after Curt’s promo to draw heat.  He calls out Bray Wyatt for not being there tonight.
  • Bray answers later with a promo from the desert.  Bray Wyatt is apparently the incarnate of Prometheus?  He gave man fire apparently.  He’s also taking responsibility for everything bad that’s happened since he’s arrived.  He’s responsible for Enzo and Cass breaking up, you guys.  I’m sure he also has something to do with Ciampa.
  • Mustafa Ali Vs. Neville  – Ali hits a ridiculous (in a good way) spike DDT.  Neville turns it around when he launches Ali off the top rope into the barricade.  Neville wins with a Rings of Saturn submission.
  • Bálor defeats Cesaro with a Coup De Grace.  The Drifter and Sheamus both try to get involved but The Hardys come out to equalize the situation.  Are we seeing a Drifter vs. Finn match at Balls?  I’d rather just have Finn skip this PPV than waste himself in a kickoff match.

Overall, this was a great show.  I really can’t wait for Balls!  That was never something I thought I’d write a year ago…