The One Before the Rumble – Smackdown Live Recap 1/24/17

Our “go home” Smackdown Live comes to you from the Huntington Center in Toledo, Ohio.  I don’t know why they would want to be in Ohio as often as they are either, but to each their own.

The Family Values Tour

The New Wyatt Family is going to settle their family issues the only way WWE superstars know how, and Randy Orton will take on Luke Harper in singles competition.  They made their way to the ring as a singular unit and as the match begins Bray sits ringside in his rocking chair.

The battle for Father’s affections goes back and forth as you’d expect.  Those of us who watch enough wrestling understand just how good Luke Harper is, and when Randy Orton wants to put forth an effort, there is nobody better.  Harper goes for the Discus Clothesline and eats an RKO.  Bray Wyatt does not seem impressed either way.  Randy Orton with the RKO.

Following the match, Wyatt would enter the ring, shaking Randy Orton’s hand before helping Harper to his feet only to deliver a Sister Abigail.  Orton and Wyatt leave together with Harper laid out in the ring alone.

What the hell is this?

There is a shopping segment where Carmella takes James Ellsworth to freshen up his look.  I fast forwarded, but from the speedy version I got through I don’t think I missed anything.  What the hell is this?  I don’t even want to put it on The List because then I’m acknowledging it way more than it deserves to be acknowledged.

Battle Royale for a Rumble Spot

A collection of tag team competitors (Slater-Rhyno, Vaudevillains, Breezango & Ascension), Curt Hawkins and Mojo Rawley compete in an over the top rope match to earn a Royal Rumble spot.  It comes down to Mojo and Breezango, so as you can assume, Mojo Rawley is now in the Royal Rumble match.  He won’t win, but it’s nice that they didn’t just abandon him completely following the Zack Ryder injury.

The Guy from Atlanta calls out John Cena

Before we get into this, you should most definitely know:

AJ Styles complains about his placement on the promotional posters for Royal Rumble.  It’s a legitimate complaint, as he’s the champ but he’s in like row 8 of the faces on the poster while Cena is up front next to Goldberg, Lesnar and Taker.

During Cena’s appearance on the Today Show yesterday morning, the broadcast team kept referring to AJ Styles simply as the Guy from Atlanta.  Well, he’s not from Atlanta.  He’s from Gainesville.  That’s actually a pretty significant difference.  He’s also the World Heavyweight Champion and the least that Brand Ambassador John Cena could have done is correct them by providing his name.

Pretty typical back and forth for these two.  AJ has replaced Cena, he #BeatsupJohnCena, Cena is going to make him look like a little bitch.  You know the rhetoric.

Cena will win Sunday night, even if just to turn around and drop it right back two weeks later in the Elimination Chamber.

Dolph Ziggler is a bad guy, so let’s put him in a match with Kalisto

It’s not that this match was bad, just kind of one of those things that you don’t really get too invested in.  As a matter of fact, the match took about as long as me finding that image on Google.  Ziggler with the Superkick.

Ziggler then decided he had to make it worse, so he grabs a chair but a distraction from JBL gives Apollo Crews time to come down and make the save.

Point?

We’ve already seen Natalya slam Nikki Bella into the side of a tractor trailer in the parking lot earlier in the day.  Now as Naomi awaits her opponent for the evening in Natalya we see that Nikki Bella jumped her in the backstage area.  Naomi wants a match, so she calls out anybody who wants some.

Alexa comes out, but you know she’s not going to actually face her.  She just explains that Naomi isn’t even remotely on her level.

Yep….you know what that means…

LUMBERJACK MATCH!!!

No, not that.  Gross.

Can you point out all the people in that image who are no longer with WWE?

Miz gets his rematch for the Intercontinental Championship in a Lumberjack Match.  In the opening segment, he asks Daniel Bryan to make it a No DQ Match, but Bryan, in his wisdom, knows that it is merely a tactic to make Maryse interference acceptable, so now the ring is surrounded with competitors eager to lay hands on either of these guys.

Someone should tell the Uso in the bandana that he looks like AJ from the Backstreet Boys.  It’s not a bad ass look.

It was a fairly good match, but Baron Corbin slides in randomly and attacks both guys, at which point all the Lumberjacks dive in and brawl.  Following the brawl they all vacate ringside just before Ambrose lands Dirty Deeds to retain.

That’s your show.  Stay tuned following Smackdown Live for the Network Premier of The Condemned 2.  It’s honestly not bad, and it has the greatest actor ever in it.  No, not Randy Orton.  Eric Roberts is in it.

You’re welcome.