WWE No Mercy, or the PPV they were terrified that you were going to turn off for the Debates

So first things first, WWE was terrified that you weren’t going to watch this in favor of the debates.  Actually, they resigned themselves to you turning off the Network as soon as it got to the 9 PM hour to watch one of the 25 people that Vince McMahon follows on twitter (he also still follows CM Punk for some reason).  Those that did, missed a damn good show, if you could manage to stay awake during it.  Yes, our very own Dark Match Matt fell asleep before or during the Ziggler/Miz match so I’ll be guessing what Matt was dreaming about during my recap of each match.

Kickoff show is Hype!

The Hype Bros and American Alpha team up to face The Ascension and The Vaudevillians to kickoff the show.  Some nice work here, but no storylines were progressed.  This was just really meant to get everyone hyped for the start of the show (more on that later).  It was a fun match with a cool pop-up Hype Ryder.  They’re making Mojo look great and the Vaudevillians seem to be up to or close to The Ascensions status at this point, which is a good thing.

Now, I know Matt was awake during this match but we are going to pretend like he wasn’t.  This is what he was dreaming of:

Yes, that’s right.  Hulk Hogan and his pythons…except they’re actually pythons.

The Main Event!

No, seriously.  They kept on calling the Triple Threat the main event.  I know it’s for the WWF World Championship and has three of your top guys…but if it’s on first, it’s not the main event.  I figure it has something to do the debate but don’t try and fool us by calling it the main event.  It just looks desperate.  Nevermind the fact that I don’t even understand why you need to watch the debates in the first place.  You already know everything you need to know about those two.  Wrestling is more fun and the rivalries are more realistic.  Ok.  Rant over.

Here’s some stuff I liked about this:

  • This match wasn’t the usual triple threat.  All three were pretty much in the ring at the same time for the whole match, punctuated by moments where all three were down at the same time.
  • I feel like Cena has done it before, but the double german suplex was impressive.
  • There were a couple of big move teases here.  First, Ambrose teased a top rope dirty deeds or a jumping double arm DDT.  And second, Cena teased a Double AA.  Not bad for a dude that recently rehabbed his shoulder.
  • At one point, Ambrose had Styles in a submission and Cena joined him with an STF.  Styles tapped but Mike Chioda resumed the match.  It’s was another great moment that kept everyone looking strong.

Finally, AJ remembered that there’s No DQ under triple threat rules and got a chair to beat up Cena and pin him for the win.  I was wrong and Matt was right there.  It’ll be that much sweeter when Cena returns to tie Flair’s record when he pins Styles clean.  I like this version of Cena.

And Ambrose really stepped it up here too.  That Huricanrana was pretty sweet.

What Matt was dreaming about:

Nicki Bella Vs. Carmella

In our first post-main event match, we see Nicki Bella up against Carmella.  I wasn’t taking notes here at all but I seem to remember this match being fine.  Carmella worked Nicki’s neck and back like a good heel.  And Nicki responded with this:

Nicki gets the pin here for the win.

What Matt was dreaming about:

The Usos Vs. Beauty and the Man Beast for the Smackdown Live Tag Team Titles

I love Heath and Rhyno.  It’s not because they’re the top guys on my fantasy team.  It’s solely because Heath and the man with a refrigerator-shaped body have been absolutely fantastic together.  They essentially have the same dynamic as Enzo and Cass.  Heath will work up to hot tag and Rhyno will Gore the other team to oblivion.  It’s an odd couple, but it works.

I was convinced they were going to drop the belt.  The Usos have been on fire.  Anyone that’s read our recaps know that we used to completely skip Usos matches and refuse to cover them at all.  It’s not true anymore.  They’ve been fantastic heels.  They work a body part as dastardly as the Revival and they just have a smugness to them that I love.

Here’s something that pains me to write:  The Usos deserve the tag team titles.

I was so convinced that tonight was going to be the night.  But they can afford to ride out this title win with Heath and Rhyno just a little bit more.  I’m worried that the Usos could essentially become the Gallows and Anderson of Smackdown but I think we can wait a month and a half until Survivor Series for Heath and Rhyno to drop.

And that Super Powerslam from Heath.  Amazing.

And did you know that the Usos are Fraternal twins and not identical?  Seriously.  I thought Mauro misspoke.

This match was fantastic from all four competitors.  It’s my 2nd favorite of the night.  And the crowd went crazy for Rhyno, something that they haven’t really done for him in his WWE career.

Beauty and The Man Beast retain.

What Matt was dreaming about:

Baron Corbin Vs. Jack Swagger

We thought this was going to happen on the Kickoff but this got moved to the main card.  Good for them.  It was a solid match that the Sacramento crowd wasn’t really into.  I can’t blame them.  They’ve been programmed into thinking Swagger’s matches are boring.  Tonight’s was solid.

Corbin eventually took advantage of the refs OCD in fixing the ring apron to poke Swagger in the eye and hit the End of Days for the win.

What Matt was dreaming about:

Alexa Bliss Vs. Naomi

For the next match, I’m skipping ahead.  I’m leaving the match that should have been the last one to finish the card for the end of the recap.

I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news.  Becky is out with a non-wrestling related health issue.  We wish her the best and hope it’s not too serious.  Because of that, her title match against Bliss has been rescheduled to November 8th in Glasgow.

Bliss was still scheduled to compete and Naomi valiantly stepped up to take the babyface spot in the match.

Naomi has really stepped it up since the brand split, beyond her crazy entrance.  The only thing I don’t love is her finisher, the “rear view”.  Asuka does something similar but her’s actually seems motivated.

It was a solid match but had the misfortune of having to follow the Ziggler Vs. Miz masterpiece.  Naomi did seem to get a win outta nowhere.  I think it would have been more effective for Bliss to win to make her look even more credible on the route to her title match.  I understand that this was a last minute change though, so I’ll let it slide.

What Matt was dreaming about:

Bray Wyatt Vs. Randy Orton

If this match was in a vacuum or on a lesser show, this would be a pretty good match and a great way to end a PPV.  And most importantly, it ends Bray Wyatt’s seemingly unending big match losing streak that he’s been on pretty much since he lost to Cena at Wrestlemania XXX.

But today, Bray took down the snake.

He might have had a little help though.

It was all mind games, as Harper didn’t lay a finger on Orton.  But he did distract him long enough for a Sister Abigail for the win.

What Matt was dreaming about:

And Finally, Dolph steals the show!

I don’t know how much I should bother recapping this.  You really owe it to yourself to watch this match in its entirety.  Even Dave Meltzer, who is not a fan of either of these guys, was really impressed by this.  It’s going to be a match of the year candidate for sure.

There were some great moments in here, particularly the spot paying homage to Eddie.  It was particularly the spot about losing the boot.

Miz pulled out all the spots.  And it’s a testament about how well they’ve built this match, where every big move, every big cheat from Miz was terrifying.  And he pulled out all the stops.  First, Maryse sprayed Dolph in the eyes, as she’s done two times before.  When Ziggy kicked out of that, she went for trick #2.  The Spirit Squad came to ringside to distract Dolph.  Ziggler superkicked one of them and kept the other at bay.  The ref had enough, leaving it as a one-on-one match.

At this point, there were tons of finishers.  I’m normally not a fan of spamming finishers but it works in this case.  If Dolph doesn’t kick out, he’s gone.  And to top it all off with rumors that he’s going to be joining D’Von in a backstage role made the possibility of Ziggler losing all the more real.

But we were worked my friend.

Ziggy wins in the most satisfying build to an Intercontinental win ever.  I really hope this reinvigorates Dolph and he has a good run as champ.  I feel that it’s possible since he’s on the better show.

What Matt was dreaming about: